Frienemies?

So here we are in a new year...2011. What a good year this should be. However....

A fairly new concept in the world is this "Frienemies" word.

I never thought I would have to use it, but recent events might force me to. The concept behind the word is "best friends" that truly are enemies. From my understanding, they are best friends to each other's faces, but behind their backs they talk trash about the other person. I hope my understanding is correct!?

This seems so childish and petty for women in this century. We are supposed to stand behind each other and empower one another. I credit myself for typically getting along well with people due to my easy-going personality. So this is where I don't understand all the women that revolve their lives around gossip and backstabbing.

I have [had] a group of friends that I was extremely close to. This group of friends includes my sister-in-law, who I went to high school with. We've never had luck "sharing" friends for some reason. I love her like my own sister, but we also fight like sisters, or cats and dogs. Her and I are pretty close though; even more so since she gave birth to my nephew last June.

Anyway; we share friends, for the most part. What I don't understand is when we hang out with each other, the other women talk about the people that aren't around. Why is this? Why do we do this women? It infuriates me! Now I will admit, I've gotten caught up in the typical "gossip" before, but I would never want to speak ill of someone I consider my friend.

Recently, I've heard this more often in this group of so-called friends. I try to look past it and make sure I keep quiet, but it's gotten harder not to get defensive for the person who is not around, ya know, stick up for them a bit - especially when it's my sister-in-law.

So I've decided that it's not necessary for these kind of people in my life. While they think that's a good way to live life, being frienemies, I insist that I must move on to bigger and better things. It saddens me to think these people who I loved and considered family will no longer be a part of my life, but I also have to question what they say about me when I'm not around.

The good thing that will come out of this is I will no longer have to worry about stealing any friends from my sister-in-law, and I feel I've matured a bit from these situations. If she wants friends like that, then by all means, take 'em. Until they can move past these actions, I must distance myself. Plus, I've got too much to focus on at school to include myself in their drama parties.

Any input on this? Any women as upset and disgusted by this as much as I am?